That's your strong point and your failing.

You have a character that's all of a piece, and you want the whole of life to be of a piece too--but that's not how it is.

You despise public official work because you want the reality to be invariably corresponding all the while with the aim--and that's not how it is.

You want a man's work, too, always to have a defined aim, and love and family life always to be undivided--and that's not how it is.