"Not living for his own wants, but for God? For what God? And could one say anything more senseless than what he said? He said that one must not live for one's own wants, that is, that one must not live for what we understand, what we are attracted by, what we desire, but must live for something incomprehensible, for God, whom no one can understand nor even define.
What of it? Didn't I understand those senseless words of Fyodor's? And understanding them, did I doubt of their truth? Did I think them stupid, obscure, inexact? No, I understood him, and exactly as he understands the words.
I understood them more fully and clearly than I understand anything in life, and never in my life have I doubted nor can I doubt about it.
And not only I, but everyone, the whole world understands nothing fully but this, and about this only they have no doubt and are always agreed.
"And I looked out for miracles, complained that I did not see a miracle which would convince me.